Action Monday: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

    How does one go about reviewing a film, whose sole purpose is to make money? That's the second thought I had after seeing the film in question. The first thought? What did I just see, and why did it happen?
    There was a lot of speculation from everyone in the known world when Pirates 4 was announced. Most of it ranged from, "what is it about" to "do we need another one". Various stories leaked early, concerning the rights to various books being picked up, possible cameos and so forth. Things took a worse turn when it was publicly acknowledged that star Johnny Depp was rather uninterested in reprising his iconic role of Captain Jack Sparrow. Needless to say, all these issues are readily on display in the final product.
   A movie of this magnitude, needs a few key factors in place to make it a success, or at least a decent diversion of time. Sadly it lacks in all departments, save for the fact that it eventually ends. The movie showcases 3 of it's most glaring flaws, all within the first 15 minutes. First of all, there is a very forced, and uninspired vibe to the proceedings. Instead of a natural flow, the scenes seem to exist, because the writers are convinced this is what people expect or want to see. While the audience should be an active participant in the films events, doesn't mean that it should be made directly for them. Everyone has differing tastes, and if you shoot for the middle, you can only ever just grasp mediocrity. Second, we get a line asking if Sparrow ever managed to find the Fountain of Youth (due to the fact that the map from Pirates 3 is stuffed in his shirt). His response is that he simply grew tired of it and gave up. Lastly, Sparrow is the main focus of the film. He is its central character, the hero, and not a role that he should have ever been relegated to. The reason that Captain Jack Sparrow became such an iconic character, was because he worked all the angles, was crazy, has insane luck, all the while being a lovable scamp. He is the true example of "there is such thing as too much of a good thing". The original Pirates Trilogy (yes, we are at a point of referring to it thusly), had the over arching love story of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan. Sparrow's role and story was integral, but it wasn't at the forefront. This confusing may be derived from the fact that, Depp, as big a star as he is, has his name first on the credits. Which also leads me to say, a phrase I never thought I would. The love story absence from the fourth film is a big issue. In its place there are 2 minor flirts that are never fully developed. The much publicized teaming of Penelope Cruz and Johnny Depp, and that of a Missionary and a Mermaid. The latter's story has the beginnings of something interesting, though it never develops and leads to one of the most awkward blurt outs ever. (For the life of me I can't even remember if the Missionary's name had been uttered before the scene, let alone the mermaids). This is of no consequence, as the Missionary will disappear moments later, with none of the cast being surprised or curious of his whereabouts.
       On Stranger Tides is a cash-grab pure and simple. Sure that can easily be said about most of the films that are released in the summer, but most of those are at least 3 times as fun, as what's on display here.

* out of  *****