HORROR THURSDAY: HATCHET 2 (2010)

Title: HATCHET 2 (2010)

        Every film has an analogy that sums it up. Some films even have a scene or line that completely conveys all that follows. "Hatchet 2" is by no means an exception to the rule, or any rule that is, unless it involves a bunch of winking, cliches, and moments "it" and only "it" define as subversively cool. The scene comes early on when the big bad of the film comes along one of his prey. He holds in his hand the titular "hatchet" (which gets far less or more use than it deserves, depending on your view). He decides to go against conventional wisdom, turns the hatchet over, and but the victim in the face with blunt, flat head of the weapon. Over and over and over and over again. Over, and over. One more time for good measure, and again. This is cut to obvious shots of more blood escaping what was once the face of one of our hapless adventurers. Yet the feeling that comes out of the scene, is like so many others encased herein. "Yeah, fun, get on with it." Not out of disgust at all, but more so out of boredom. One could argue that the scene could work if it was coming from a Hanke or an early Romero, but there is nothing that the scene has to say, other than, "look at my bloody effects!". There is the whole issue with "Hatchet 2", it spends to much time grand-standing, trying to win a certain audience or filmmaker. To have their film defined as "cool', or "cult". The weakness of being a die hard fan of something, is that if all you do is cover common ground in your film, it doesn't prove anything other than you have seen the previous films of that ilk, and can decidedly emulate that/ Even bad horror has something to say nowadays. I'd be willing to throw more credit, or aplomb to "Repo the Genetic Opera", which I hate, because at least there was a passion (albeit misguided), steering its course. Maybe I can blame it on my age. If I want trash, there are a slew of perfectly good 70's, 80's and 90's films to take a look at. I just can't commit myself to new waste, will the advances in technology, the language of films, and hopefully an intellectual leap over the years, you'd think someone would get the picture. Part of the issue could be laid at the feet of the director. Adam Green, so far has 4 entries to the horror genre, 1 of which is a sequel to a film he made. Out of the 4, only moments of "Frozen" showed a director with a sense of life, who may have been spending his time within the wrong genre. If you are a fan or an expert in something, it doesn't mean that you can make it any better.
       Horror films in America, in particular, have had a bad run of things for around 10 years now. It can't exactly be deciphered if it's the talent or the stories that have run dry. Mostly now, it feels as if there is an equation that needs to be followed, often catering to the lowest common denominators. The invention of blu-ray and the decline of dvd re-issues has made it more difficult to show the new generation old seminal classics. True every once and a while there will be a decent remastering, but the results are few and far between.
  "Hatchet 2" picks up directly after the events of the first film. After the perfunctory 20-30 minutes of "real world", it's back to the swamp, and the killings begin again. When did the first horror/sci-fi/fantasy film deem it important that a sequel had to take a moment, stop all the action in the film, and expand the mythology. Few franchises have ever benefited from suck logic. Just look at "Star Wars" or the "Halloween Series" (Druids? Really, Druids?) Dialogue is another avenue that takes a backseat in horror films. In the past decades characters sounded stupid because no one cared about the script, and wanted to make a few bucks. Here in the Aughts, we have screenwriters, who are attempting to make characters sound stupid on purpose, as if it makes them wittier or more satirical. The only way they could do that is if they have a republican atheist pregnant girl who is grappling with abortion even though she comes from a family where she was adopted herself, oh yeah, because her father may or may not be a homicidal maniac. In the end she would have accepted her family's curse to kill her own dad, but then would kill her baby, or go on a rampage that the authorities blame on postpartum depression. That movie, would certainly be 10 times better than "Hatchet 2". The issue with Hatchet 2 is that it feels as if it's made for friends, or it's so cool you, you have to be in the know to get it. I enjoy brainless horror as much as the next guy, even getting several friends together to drink and watch it. But there is a difference between a great horror film, a fun horror film, a bad but enjoyable horror film, and annoying horror film because it wants to seem like it's better than you. I just hope that Adam Green can learn the difference in the future.
*1/2 out of *****